Swimming at the Y

So I've been working out since Saturday and I feel GREAT! Swam 4 laps in the pool and thought I was gonna die! Sheesh that is really hard to do LOL. I realized a lap is one swim down and back or else I would've called it 8 laps lol.

Swam Saturday, Worked out on the treadmill Sunday (BTW I Absolutely LOVE the TV's in the treadmill deal so cool), And today I relaxed in the pool after walking the treadmill for 30 minutes and getting on the rowing machine for 5 minutes. I don;t think I did the rowing machine right though lol.

Does anyone else notice how ravishingly hungry you are after swimming?!?! Geez I was starving after relaxing in the pool today, the kids were too.

The re-makings of a Gym Rat

Back in 2006-2008 I was a gym bunny gym rat or whatever you wanna call it and I lost tons of weight. I have done it all outdoor running/wogging (walk/jogging). Skating (have the skates to prove it though I can barely stay up on them now..., Yoga (from Home), Tae Bo ( from home), Boot camp style workouts etc., and what i realize most is that home is my place of comfort it is not my springboard for working out, hence i start then I stop then I get lazy and never return to it.

Well back in August my son fractured a knee cap in foot ball during practice by stepping into a divet in the ground while practicing hitting drills with another player. His football season this year has ended because he has to heal. He was in a cast for 4-5 weeks and as of last Wed his cast was taken off and his knee cap is healed. But because he was in a cast with his leg straight he will need therapy and rehabbing to bend his knee again. The doctor suggested water walking to get it bending again so I went to the local YMCA and opened a family membership for 83.00 a month. They have an indoor and outdoor pool. Well heck if I'm spending this kinda money for a membership then I think I need to get my moneys worth. Yesterday I swam 8 laps (thought I would die whew what a workout!!!) and today I went and walked on the treadmill 30 minutes (that was a workout as well). I have not been active honestly since April so I know it will be hard this first week but I plan on being a workout diva pretty soon expecting pounds to fall off lol. Wish me luck!

New post

I'm trying to get back into this. It was really theraputic for me.

I've had some serious spiritual revelations and my life has totally changed over the course of the past 2 years. MAJORLY lol.

Can;t go into it now but i will I promise. On to a lighter me I shall get there no matter what! It's going to happen.

Doing good and hanging

Well I'm in chapter of my book Mindless Eating and it has some really good research on marketing and analysis and how it affects our Psyche when it comes to food. Good stuff.

I've been eating once a day and making the meal very protein rich and walking for about 45 minutes and continuing my yoga in the morning. Man that is really nice.... yoga i mean. you get a good stretch in and it energizes you. I'm on day 2 of yoga and I'm digging it. And it's VERY easy. I thought it would be really hard but it's not.

I got my daughters classes straightened out at school so she is going to her concert orchestra classes extra early in the mornings. She has to ride the high school bus to school. This causes me to wake up @ 5:30 to make sure that she is up. Since I'm already up I'll grab a cup of coffee read my bible and pray then do my yoga workout. I think I can eliminate alot of rushing and being tired from running when I get home from work by accomplishing some things in the morning. I washed clothes this morning and my daughter did the dishes this morn.

I was a little freaked out by my eating Sunday and yesterday i was kinda scared to eat something for fear of a huge gain but i measured my stomach and I've lost an inch off of my stomach can you believe it? I'm being concious of when I do digest anything if I'm feeling satisfied or full and I've noticed just today that if I stop once I'm satisfied there is no sluggishness and I can easily tell when I'm hungry again there is no question there. I bought a smoothie to work with me this morning. Usually I'd drink the whole thing in one whop. The bottle says that there are two servings. So I drunk some earlier and I noticed I was satisfied yet not full yet so I put it up and just now my throat and stomach were growling so I when back and got it and now I'm on the second serving. This is good. It helps me to determine and watch my intake. I'm liking this. Thanks Lord for helping me get it under control.

Flubbed it a lil today

But I'm not going to beat myself up.

A friend invited us to Benihanna's for her birthday meal to celebrate. Well I got the times mixed up and we got there almost 2 hrs late and our seats were already occupied and I didn't want to sit at a completely different table around strangers so we just left and walked around downtown and seen a couple of sites. Thought of visiting a couple of restaurants but everything was just too pricey and we really didn't like the menu's so we hopped in the car and drove closer to home and stopped at an Applebees and ate. I got a loaded mashed potatoes and onion soup. They were yummy and I didn't feel like hurling right after to eating so I thought I'd done pretty good. Then i got home and ate 4 cups of jello and drank water all night.

Got up this morning and made breakfast for everyone but I didn't eat any, My stomach was a little on edge from the night before so I just had a cup of coffee and water. I think the creamer in my coffee makes my stomach do back flips I was in the restroom all day today. My son had a football game so we stood out in the blazing sun watching him play with me running back and forth to the restroom in 98 degree heat. Then we went to church and came home. I didn't feel like cooking so we stopped at skyline and I got a chili bowl loaded and a glass of water to drink. That worked out pretty well. I came home took a nap (heat was getting to me), then woke up and got last minute school supplies and fell into an old temptation that really I should've just avoided. Hubby was hungry and wanted some Mickey D's. I wasn't even REALLY that hungry I could've passed but NOOOO i had to get a chicken combo meal with a sweet tea. I was able to digest it fairly well, but i know that it's time to get on the workout and eating better wagon. I went to the library yesterday and I've picked up a book about mindless eating and teaching yourself how to eat all over again and pay attention to the packaging on stuff.

I also bought a book on yoga. I have been contemplating for years trying yoga. Not wanting to mix my christian beliefs with the spiritual positions of yoga but I've prayed long and hard about this and I really need to get my body back into shape and I'm not doing this as unto an idol I am doing this to realign myself back into the arms of Jesus and get my focus and my energy back. Posture improvement as well. So i look at the health and fitness benefits from it. I checked out a book on it and I got a VHS tape to follow that teaches it. I'm excited about learning it.

Kids start school tomorrow so I'm excited about that. Well I think that's really all I have to say right now about everything. I'm feeling horrible since I slipped up my energy is very lethargic right now so I can actually understand what people say about all of the chemicals put into certain foods and how it physically and affects the blood flow and things. I don't think I'll be eating at Mickey D's for a while. I'm trying to find what foods really work for me. I have come to this conclusion thus far..... Mickey D's is no longer on my list of places to eat, and I am no longer digesting lactose products because they do a number on my system. Pasta is limited to a very small amount IF I eat it, and breads are on hold until I can get whole grain taste together in my system.

I am living be some bariatric rules, 1. protein is my friend digest it 2. water water water 3. exercise to stay fit.

Well that's all for now. Until we meet again.

Transitioning to pureed foods mental state

I've made it a note to write about the mental portion of changing my lifestyle to keep me accountable to myself in all of this.

So I've done clear liquids for 2 weeks with no solids, no dairy (except creamer in my coffee), and with no caffeine (besides morning cup of jo). Today is the day that I began to transition into pureed foods and such. I also had a mishap when my monthly visitor came around. I know this may be TMI to male readers (if I have ANY readers LOL), but I began to start having stomach cramps like you wouldn't believe. Like doubling over type of cramps and not menstrual but STOMACH Cramps. Anytime my hunger cravings would get terribly out of hand I'd picture children in starving countries and count myself lucky to live in a land and to be able to afford whatever junky crappy food I want to fill my body when there are starving children somewhere. Then the pep talk came in to suck it up and get over it and I'd quote my favorite mainstay scripture Proverbs 25:14 He that hath no control over his own spirit, is like a city that is broken down and without walls. I'd get some broth and heat up a hot cup of water satisfy my hunger pangs and keep it moving. But today was particularly unusual. Especially with my cramps and the hunger doubled up on top of a headache that I'd had all day.

So because I was moving to the next level of my diet I decided to go to the grocery store and get some new dietary meals to accomodate this next 2 weeks of my transistion into learning how to eat. I went and bought some good proteins such as tuna in water (3 cans), relish and mayo (for tuna salad, Some walgreens nutritional non-lactose, protein shakes, and some more jello. i also got a couple of smoothies and some sobe waters.

Went back to work to eat my lunch, made the tuna, ate two spoonfuls of it and felt like I would throw up instantly. For some reason I could smell all of the ingredients to the food before I could raise the spoon to my mouth and when I ate it just didn't taste good. So I'm really trying to figure out how this is going to work out. I've noticed that since yesterday (more TMI sorry guys) that my bowel movements have become a little more solid as well. AS opposed to the runny watery non substance of drinking clear liquids only. This actually scared me a little to be honest. I was wondering if after having 2 weeks of liquid movements and no change in dietary habits WHY would they go from watery to solid like that. But I have reasoned that maybe it's just because the monthly monster has shown her head. Who knows?

I plan on taking my exercise activity to the next level with incorporating the pureed foods into my diet. With the clear liquid only phase I would walk 3-4 times a week for 45-60 minutes. I think on top of the walking i am going to start back up my firm aerobics and tae bo tapes. I want to accomodate the calories that I will be increasing to create a caloric deficit that will then help me to lose weight. My total of weight lost so far is 23 lbs. This is in a 2 week period. I know that is drastic but honestly I am at a desperate time in my weight life and desperate times call for desperate measures. If I'd gotten bariatric surgery I'd be doing the same thing and losing tons more weight so I'll keep on keeping on where I am at.

So back to the mental aspect of my weightloss I thought long and hard about what foods I'd incorporate in this Phase 2 of my diet. Normally after such a huge loss I'd subconsciously find a way to sabotage my weight back up to the 23 lbs that I'd lost. Instead I thought with a clear mind and thought about what foods to incorporate and how they'd affect my body (lactose intolerant, soy reactions) and I made good choices. This is such a breakthrough for me mentally man. i intend to strive harder and farther to reach my goals and have God there leading me the whole way. I see the glimmer of Hope and I'm going from the " This just might work" mindset to the " This method IS working out and WILL be successful."

I can look at myself and actually recognize myself what a great thing to be able to say! Cause for quite a while here recently I haven't been able to.

Hopefully with me incorporating the Protein and the pureed foods into my diet I'll have more energy to exercise the way that I want to. We shall see. Lately my energy levels are definitely improving compared to 23 lbs ago but I could still use a kick in the rear on certain things. Well I guess that'll just be a part of the documentation. I think i like this phase of my writings because I know that no one is really reading and checking me out like they used to so i feel freer to write everything. The ups the Downs the TMI moments..... everything and just be me.

Okay well I guess I'm done documenting.

Until we meet again.... It's been real Love ya!

2 Years Later and I refuse to stop

Hello there,

I'm not really sure if anyone still reads me or not but I am back. After a 2 year hiatus, an inspirational entry here and there sprinkled in between.

I contemplated writing this entry...................

Simply because I didn't know if I wanted to make this public anymore. Yanno the weightloss battle. But then I go back and I read so many encouraging comments even on my 2-4 year old posts and they really even to this day inspire me.

I gained every lb that I'd lost back and put on more. I don't know how it happened or when it occurred but one day I woke up 25 lbs higher than my highest weight. I could feel it in my back, I was out of breath just getting up to move from here to there. And I would think. How in the World did I get like this?

Wallow in depression and eat to make myself feel better. Then I'd feel horrible because I'd ate to myself feel better and what better way to smother those emotions than with more food? And the cycle continued. I couldn't fit an inkling of clothing that I had. All the way up to the 22's fitting rather tightly. I fit 24's comfortably and that told me something........ It was time to get off the rollercoaster.

Health problems are one of my biggest fears. I am lucky to have gotten to the weight that I am at and to have ONLY hypothyroid as a problem in my life and not a humongous one at that. I don't have diabetes, i don't have high blood pressure, high cholestorol, heart disease or any of that. Blessed to be a healthy fat.

So I kept struggling with facing my fears about it all. And amazingly enough I have started and ended at least 20 diet's within the last 3 years. And I have started exercising atleast 2-3 weeks straight out of every month for the past 3 years and still couldn't keep up with it.

I changed my profile pic because this was me in November of 2008. It is the closest representation of how much weight I'd gained. And believe me I have more embarrassing photos to boot. I have a husband that loves me dearly and I appreciate and love him so much for that. But i don't want to be just a pretty face. I want FOR ME to feel like I make him feel young again.
I know size has nothing to do with it and that he loves me. I'm doing this for me. I need to get my health back, my energy back, and my glow back. Just a little bit brighter for the world to see. i cannot minister and be unhealthy too.

The bible says to be in health even as your soul prospers. And lately I've kept in my spirit every time I get weak and want to cave in I say to myself. He that hath no control over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls (protection) Proverbs 25:14.

I will never be unprotected again. I have the protection first off of my Daddy God. But I need to be naturally equipped to handle life as it hits me as well.

So I've decided to do it. I'm on a bariatric diet. I didn't get the surgery but I am following the diet plan. That was my instruction in prayer. It also has equipped me to get back into the discipline of fasting when i pray. i have not successfully fasted since the last time I was healthy. That's been about 2-3 years.

I've been doing clear liquids for the first 2 weeks (14 Days), I am now moving into the thicker liquids for a week. Like carnation breakfast meal replacements or pureed foods that have protein, and fiber in them. I started the process with a 48 hour Acai berry Cleanse with Water Cayenne maple syrup and Acai berry. I was the most disgusting stuff I've ever tasted in my life but my face is clearing up very well.

I have not really been exercising hard as I don't have the fuel (solid food) that I need to sustain my hunger after a tough work out. i walk about 45 minutes 4 times a week but that's really it. I have lost 23 lbs in 7 days which I know is not exactly typical or the most sane of ways to do it. But i am desperate and determined to get this weight off. i have a 4-6 week plan.

believe me I am a pro and could probably be a licensed nutritionist if I actually followed the dietary guidelines that i know how to set oh so well for eating. I have failed so many times before but this time I am not failing. And I refuse to stop.

I have prayed to God about all of this and I know that I have to learn how to eat healthily all over again. I have to retrain my mind to eat with proper nutrition and not just " what I feel like eating", i have to retain my mentality to go from "living to eat" to "eating to live". I have to train my mentality when i go to eat delicious savory foods to marinate in the taste of food and savor ever bite slowly and enjoy the food, from eating up as much as I can because I'm soooo HONGRY and not tasting it until it's already been digested lol.

I noticed something that I was kind of ashamed of to admit but heck this is my blog I can write whatever i want. But this is what I noticed these last couple of weeks. I am a closet eater. I never acknowledged it before but I have identified it and now I see it. Before I re-started this journey whenever i was home alone (meaning no hubby no kids just me), I notice that I eat and eat and eat and eat until I feel sick. It's like I'm hoarding up food or something I have NO idea where this came from. It's not even eating out of boredom. I'd just eat it because it was there. It was like my mind felt like if I didn't eat it someone else would so I might as well get mines in while no one's here. And hubby would complain because he couldn't keep pop in the house cause I'd drink them like water. back to back to back.

Coming up in my house it was like that though. Every man for him/herself. My grandmother was a diabetic so we NEVER kept sweets in the house. My husband grew up spoiled rotten so he feels that we should ALWAYS have sweets in the house. I have to literally retrain my brain to look at food in a different way. I know that this is a mentality issue and like most people say weightloss is 80% mental 20% work. I'm working on the 80% mental and incorporating the work into it. But my embarrasing find (getting back to that) is that since I've went on this diet we have had SO MUCH leftover food in the house it's just astonishing. And I now know if I never did before that the food was disappearing quickly because of me. What a startling revelation right?

Well i think this weightloss chronicles will be different this time. Because I'm retraining my brain to think with a healthy mentality and to shed the Morbid Obesity mentality that I've had all my life even as a skinny teenager.

I don't know if I still have readers or not. But if I do I ask that you comment if you'd like or lurk whichever is easier for you. But I'm going to be as Christianly Candid as I know how because I'm going into the battlefield of the Mind to conquer this time around and I will be victorious.

Thanks for your eyes. Love ya!