Life is more important than food

In my times of temptation the Lord has begun to have me chant this to myself in faith.

Matthew 6:25 (Whole Chapter)
[ Do Not Worry ] "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. 'Is not life more important than food', and the body more important than clothes?

So that I might beat this flesh into submission. I refuse to be a food freak , and worrying about every minute every second of the day how I'm going to eat this and that. My days of food porn are over. For those of you that have been in the struggle of trying to lose weight or become healthier you know what I mean. For those of you that don't know what food porn is let me give you a small brief description.

Food Porn - The constant reference to delicacies that tingle the senses to lust after although it may not be good in nourishment for the body. Obssessing over these foods, can cause catastrophic impact. Resulting in Binges, expansion of body fat, hypertension, cholesterol, blood pressure, and water retention in the body. Dangerous for health and incriminating to the mind.


Well I am getting past that Food porn in the name of Jesus. And the when the temptation comes to eat something that I don't need that scripture always comes to me. Is not life more important than food? I'm not going to worry about what I'm going to eat or when I'm going to eat. If you read farther down in the scriptures on this particular one that i have above it says that there is no need to worry about what we should eat, or drink, or what we should wear because our father which is in heaven will provide for all of our needs. If he looks out for the grass in the fields and clothes them and feeds the sparrows of the air when they have no resting place so why should he not provide for us?

I live in a country that is overflowing with delicacies that some underprivileged or undernourished countries don't have access to.

The simple pleasure of soda pop, or oatmeal cream pies, or even Mcdonald's, Wendy's, Diary Queen, or the wonderful KFC. These are seriously signs of wealth in our nation that we as Americans have come to abuse. No longer do we use these places as treats or rewards to whatever accomplishments we have they have become a part of everyday life. And as a part of everyday life they turn us into gluttons. Making our stomach's our god's instead of the one true GOD that can provide for us. I read this in the bible too (it's funny how people discredit the bible for so much but the bible touches every single subject and situation known to man with a solution, including overeating and obesity.) The reference to our stomachs beijng made into idol god's is under

Phillipians 3:19 :
Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.

These are a couple of scriptures that God has given me over the past 2 years concerning my weightloss and there are more. They are beginning to illuminate to me while in the midst of this consecration. I thank God for just being able to understand these scriptures and apply them to my own life. And show them to others so that they can understand them too. Learning my hunger and full signals and realizing that food and drink quite simply is just fuel. Fuel to keep our organs working and healthy. Thought I'd relay the message to you all as well. Hopefully it is food for thought.

Self Sabotage 08/04/06

As I reflect on this weight loss journey and as God gives me introspect on my life during this consecration I am beginning to understand the root of my self sabotage. I have stated many times in other forums and in my blogs I have become slave and victim to self sabotage. I can even recognize it WHILE it’s in operation. Now let me explain this to you. What I mean is I will be a part of a regimen that either I have put in place or just following along with a program that yields the best results for me ex: Weight Watchers, or the Weigh Down Diet. Once I get to a new low I feel great, but then I began to eat the weight back on. And I maintain. My Body is wonderful at maintaining. And naturally maintaining at that. I kept wondering why why why do I do this to myself?

Today I was going to the restroom and to the water cooler to refill my 32 oz water bottle and I was praying and communing. And I wanted to make sure in my mind that this fast that I am partaking in is not a fast to lose weight but a fast in humbling myself before the Lord and allowing my own will to be burnt upon the altar of sacrifice and allowing myself to be molded and made into the pattern that God wants me to be made into. This whole thing is a self humbling and transformation experience for me. But I know that with all of this will come weight loss. And I’ve already determined that weight loss is not the goal it’s about spiritual enrichment and learning about my purpose and self discipline. I don’t know how long this consecration will last but God is showing me that it’s going to be longer than I think.

And I thought about the lowest weight that I’ve been at since I have been trying to lose weight. Which has been 237 lbs. I was holding steady at 242 and I lost a considerable amount of weight. An amount that I could be proud of and see progress in. But instantly I ate all the weight back on plus some more and maintained at that weight. So my thing was now I know that I will lose weight so I’m already planning out how I will fast which will include juicing towards the end of the fast to prepare me to began eating solid raw proportionate foods. And I think where does this self sabotage come from?

And I figured it out! It sounds stupid but I don’t think my body likes feeling lighter. Like I’ve gotten used to the amount that I’ve already lost but when I hit the 230’s my body begins to feel significantly lighter. And I think in my mind it makes me subconsciously tell my mind that I am weak. And I don’t like feeling weak. As I thought about this my pondering led to this, “Well if I’m feeling weak at 230 something good Lord what am I going to do when I get to my goal weight of 150lbs?!?!” But now that I recognize that self sabotage talk I know that feeling lighter does not mean being weaker! I can gain strength and get used to feeling lighter but I have to catch the self sabotage before it gets me to give in. Well I am going to go on and when I get past the 230’s I am determined to keep going. Well thanks for lending me your ear. On to the consecration.

RECAP July 06, 2004 Explaining July 4th

4th of July
Thursday, July 06, 2006

July fourth was really nice. The kids spent the night at one of our brothers at church's house with his kids so we had the house to ourselves. We got up in the morning to do some window shopping for my DH's ordination this Saturday. He will become a deacon. I will become a deacon's wife. cool. I'm really excited about it. We have a conference that we are hosting right now so as usual I won't be writing much until it most likely is over. ( I apologize to those that I couldn't tell of the ordination for my DH because we were given short notice and alot of you guys are already going through you own things to be worrying about us. We know that we have your well wishes in mind)

Well we went to window shop for our outfits then we went and picked up the kids which weren't even dress at 1:00pm lol they were running around playing. SO after they got dressed we went up to my Uncles house because he was hosting the bbq. Coming off of the highway someone rear ended us. But there was no damage to our car the driver at fault's bumper was messed up though. Well I called the police and he said because no one was hurt and we exchanged ins. info they didn't need to come out. MY bootleg ins. company was closed so I filed my claim yesterday. When the car hit us they hit us pretty hard and we were all cool that day but lately my neck and back have been kinda tight and so has dh's.

****edited for updates********
Anyhoo we ate good over my uncles house and watched Madea goes to jail which was hilarious. Sat around for a little while until everyone started getting drunk. I can't stand to watch people act stupid so we left and went to a friends house and I let the kids go swimming with her kids while Dh and her Dh played some pool and playstation. It was a very relaxing and needed day.
Quick update on the car accident. Saturday evening I went to the hospital because of pain in my back it was unbearable. I went into emergency and got checked out and the doctor says he thinks my muscles are just bruised from the impact of the wreck so he gave me a prescription for some muscle relaxers and some pain killers to help with the discomfort. They told me to put warm compress on my back for about 30 minutes a day. If I still have problems follow up with my doctor. Well I though today would be better but I think the medicine that i took from yesterday has just now worn off because I am having slight pains again. I hope this goes away I don't want to have any back problems. Oh well I'm putting it in Jesus Hands.

Recap ALL is well on June 07, 2006

all is well
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Hey Guys,

All is as well as can be expected. I'm doing fine I''ve just been unable to get on due to work constraints and training folks ans since I have no service at home the only time I can login and do anything is in spare time and by then I really don't have time or energy to write an entry. But please no I do login from time to time read you guys and check my notes.


Weight is so so. I got down to 237 then after memorial day yoyoed right back up to 245 so is as I'm stuck right now. We're down to one car and gas is too much to go to the gym, AND pick everyone up from work, drop off and do extracurriculart activities like cheerleading, baseball and no. 1 priority church. I'm pooped by the end of the day lately. Good news is I can now get into the 16's that was my goal for the summer. Amazingly how I can get into them when I've gained weight is beyond me but to God be the glory!

Marriage is marriage you know how when you pray you ask God to show you yourself? well I did that and God is making and molding me and I am starting to break through a real ugly side of myself through GOd and God alone. IT's not an easy feat at all as a matter of fact it is the hardest thing I've ever done seriously.
Okay gotta go back and train I'll update later. THERE IS MORE.......

Okay I'm back. I am going through transformation because I see that I can't go any farther until I deal with this issue. It is effecting my relationship and it has to be rooted in order for me to be effective in my ministry. As I said before it;s a very hard and humbling process so I'm gonna stay like a little baby and have the holy spirit guide me through this cause there is no way I can do it by myself. i thank my 1st lady so much for allowing me to talk to her. I didn't want to share it with her at first out of fear but I'm glad I finally did because it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders just talking about it and getting it out. something simple that I was inadvertantly doing to shut people down. now in the process of healing and breaking through this stronghold I am exposing it so that it will not be so toxic to me. It's not comfortable at all but I thank God for baby steps lol. Yall keep me lifted as I will definitely do the same for you.

I really need to get back into the gym and get it together but like I said financial situations sharing one car will put that on hold for a minute so I'm going to do what God tells me to do and get back on track that way. The kids are doing good healthy as little oxes lol. my job is downsizing due to outsourcing but my position is still in tact....for now anyways and I see that I need to get on top of getting my technical certs to build up my resume just incase so as you can imagine things have been crazy around here. I have an A+ certification retest that I will be taking this friday so yall definitely keep me in your prayers.

Updates on my laziness to post in here

I sincerely apologize to you all that have read me and keep on my about posting. I have another Blog that I have been posting more so about spiritual progress moreso than weight or hair. I haven't been as obssessed with all of that lately but I haven't given up or anything. There was a slight gain but it's coming down. I will post some of my blogs from the other site that I blog at to give you a feel for how my weightloss has been coming so beware there will be alot to catch up on lol. But know that you support is really appreciated and I will try to better stay on top of things.

God Bless Yall
Love ya!
MrsDawsondn