Just a little something that I need to talk about

I must admit I have been feeling quite blasé here lately. I felt like I just couldn't feel God near when praying and I haven't been reading as much but I'm working harder at getting back to maintaining my intimacy with the Lord. I was asking God the other day why I couldn't hear or feel him near me anymore recently and yesterday I was driving in my car listening to creflo dollar talking about some things and he mentioned intercourse and when was the last time that you had intercourse with the Lord? Meaning intimacy just spending time with the Lord. And mind yall I haven't heard nary a word from the Lord, I heard something right then saying when was the last time that you had intercourse with me? You say you don't feel me near but that's because you haven't taken the time to be intimate with me. I thought on that and I said okay I'm going to be more intimate and spend more time with God.

Last night I had a terrible dream that woke me up and I began to pray I went into my prayer closet and I kept hearing the same thing that I heard earlier while driving in my car. Early this morning I was extremely tired and didn’t feel like walking I tried rolling back over, but I kept hearing this little voice saying " now you know if you don't walk this morning your attitude is going to be messed up all day and your not gonna have any energy so you might as well do it." So I got up got dressed and headed out the door to find rain drizzling outside. So I was like man forget this and headed back into the house. Well as I got to my door it was like I wasn't even controlling it. I went and got a jacket with a hood and headed out.

It was lightning and thunder and everything but it was soooo calming. Crazy I know right. So the whole time I'm walking I could hear Israel Houghton's song called I'm going to another level the fast version as I was walking. It started raining a little harder and I was walking the whole time like, " okay I'm cutting my walk in half I'm not gonna do the whol 2.8-3.0 miles this morning but before I knew it I was singing that song in my head and just talking to God and I didn't even realize I was almost done with my walk. So as I get back to my house I noticed that it has stopped raining. TRIPPED ME OUT YALL!!!! I was like "wait it was JUST raining and HARD AT THAT lol. And I always do a cool down walk back and forth across the sidewalk before going in the house and I did that. But as I was walking over on my left side I looked in the sky and I could literally see some clouds breaking up and the sun was just shining through. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I just stood there I couldn't even move. On the right side of me was clouds complete darkness and a couple of flashes of lightning but on my right side the sun was shining through the clouds and it was so peaceful it was like I was in a transe I couldn't MOVE!!!! So I just stood there then I began to praise the Lord and I asked God what all of this was supposed to mean and I'm still waiting on the answer but I thank him for that little bit of reassurance that he is there!


Also a small NSV that is a bit off topic: My butt is coming back yeah baby!!!! Don't call it a comeback it's been here for years *snapping fingers to LL's 'mam said knock you out' LOL. Yes I have begun noticing the formation of a round dairy aire to my surprise. Weight training is really doing the trick! I took a couple of side shot pictures and posted it on my website LOL. You see when I hit 200 lbs my butt just majically disappeared :O I don't know what happened but it did it was GONE! And of course my cousin was the first person to point it out to me "rolls eyes" LOL but anyways I'm doing better. I'm asking God for the answer to so many questions and I'm also continuing to persevere and lose this weight. I know this was like a two sided post but sometimes my mind just works like that LOL. Well until next time...Have a great weekend!!

Water Winners

For some odd reason my bladder was on overload yesterday. Man I was peeing like a racehorse ALL DAY yesterday. I don't understand why though because I drink 128 oz a day maybe about 80 oz on a bad day and I've been doing this since like May consistantly.
It's not like I am going through the first stages of the flushing and toxin removal and retention release thingy, atleast I don't think so. I have been on a MAJOR plateau here lately so maybe it was releasing some water retention or something? I dunno even when I work out I'm sweating like CRAZY! I mean I sweat and it's no biggie but now when I work out I litterally have to take my glasses off and clean them during the workout because I have big ole water drops of sweat on my lenses lol . Shoot, just this morning I pulled out my running gear and felt bad because they were still soak and wet from when I took them off yesterday. I'm a little embarassed to admit it but I put the sweaty wet clothes on and went for my morning walk anyways .I hope I am dropping some water weight or sumthin cause this plateau thing is killing me!!

Oh yeah and a quick update! Yesterday was Little Quincy's first football game... well it was a scrimage but it was his first. And he was in the starting lineup!!! Go Stink Go Stink (that's my nickname for my baby). The Tigers won their game and they did good. Shoot they were running that field, and get this they were playing against kids 1-2 years older than them. My Cousins son was a beast on the field and lil Quincy did good with blocking too. He even get a chance to do some relief Quarterback on one play! WTG baby! Mommy's proud of you. Here's a couple of pictures of my little man in his shining glory.

Stuck Stuck Stuck!!!!

Okay so I had to be brutally honest with myself last night and I came across my weightloss measurements journal that I keep in the house. And as I sat there I thought, " Man I don't want to record my inches or weight because #1 I'd just eaten a hearty meal so I knew that the weight would definitely record the food sitting in my belly and #2 my inches seem to be at a standstill." But I figure the only way to get past this major plateau is to do it and do it now and then look back on all of this. If anyone that reads my blogs knows my story I have pictures of me at my highest weight and I have pictures of me right now. You can clearly see a difference in my pictures and I wear a smaller size in clothing but I'm not satisfied because I'm not where I should be I feel in a word "Stuck".

With clear evaluation I can honestly say it was Memorial Day weekend that the plateau started. It seemed after memorial day weekend there was a bbq almost every other weekend. First there was memorial day, Then there was Fathers Day, then there was the 4th of July, then my husbands family on his father's side throughs a family reunion picnic, then for absolutely no reason a friend throws a bbq just because it's a beautiful day and hey why not invite everyone over for some Que? And last but not least was the most recent Church Picnic BBQ. It didn't sink in until the Church picnic that I could eat just a little bbq and then play all day like a big Kid. My mindset really was as I said in my last post. I would get up in the morning and I wouldn't eat anything all day so as to have some room in my belly cause when we'd get to the BBQ it would be time to throw down! I'm not talking a nice little plate either I'm talking helpings too big to even think about measuring and then having to carry two plates to keep everything on. I'd have my on one plate hamburger, chicken, mett, and maybe porkchop and my sides like potato salad, baked beans, green Beans, corn on the cob and corn bread or rolls on another plate. And the other sides that I missed I'd go back and get them after I finished what I had. Then once my stomach has settled a tidbit (or so I think) I'll go up and get a paper plate full of desert. Then all of the grownups would sit around stuffed to the brim and tired, sleepy tired from being so full joking around and watching the kids play. maybe break out a cards game or dominoes or checkers and turn the music up and get a little two step in but that's about it! It honestly didn't hit me until This last picnic that I was destroying everything that I had worked hard to achieve with this weightloss by having a 'free day' and then wondering why I can't get the weight off.

Well now that I've evaluated that I feel as if I'm back at square one. I got on the scale last night and it read 258.2! To be honest I fluctuate between 253-255-257 daily depending on what time of day I get on the scale so it wasn't anything that made me want to run to the nearest gun shop and go kill myself LOL. It was just very disappointing. So I pulled out my tape measure and my measurements are the exact same as and in a couple of places higher than they were back in May 2005 right before the plateau so in a good sense i'm staying the same size but in my opinion I'm going in the WRONG direction. I pulled out some of my fitness mags and started looking for inspiration and as of late I have been getting more serious about strength training to melt some fat and tone as I lose. So I pulled out the infamouse Oxygen (awesome mag) magazine and reread an old article. And I remember having a talk with a coworker and him recommending me doing the Body For Life Program and Going Low Carb or No Carb to get past the plateau. I started considering going to the library and picking up the book and analyzing it and trying to decide if that's what I want to do.
See, my whole focus when I began changing my lifestyle of eating was to NOT subscribe to any form of diet but instead to do it in a healthy way and in my way without having to jot everything down, and avoid nutricious and healthy foods ie, Going into a low carb High protien, or lowfat high carb or whatever type of diet. I've done the no carb diet before and it was litterally terrible. I was weak, I had major mood swings, I lost 10lbs in 1 week but I gained double as soon as I stopped dieting and I just don't think my body can take that all over again besides, My body needs Carbs because I run and the carbs give me tons of endurance and my energy stores are utlized. But still I was considering doing this, I considered it so much so that I ended up packing a low carb lunch today and I already have a headache LOL. I went into one of my friends fotki album's SxFtMahgnyCurvs and she had an article about the atkins diet that has charged me to rethink my options. I really don't like structured weightloss programs. I like to do it myself and make healthy changes but I honestly can't get past the 250 barrier as of late. I'm praying for answers but right now I just really don't know what to do. I got in a 34 minute run this morning and I'll be working out on lunch as usual but I'm still stuck. If I come up with any answers I'll be sure to update and post it for you guys. Well that's my blog rant for the day LOL. until next time God Bless you and God keep you!

P.S. And oh yeah there is another Picnic going on this weekend for my husbands mother's side, they are having a family reunion! Pray for me yall!

Nikki

Weekend picnic

Okay so I've officially posted my blog on NP.com and I am hoping to get some readers so I guess I need to start updating this thing regularly cause people will be checking in on me HAHA. Well as for my weekend it was pretty cool. We had a church picnic and it was REALLY hot but you know I thought I was cute with my new jeans on and my oversize tee with my grandmother and granddaddy on it. I figure what's the point of getting super cute and buying a new outfit when eventually I may get pinged with a water ballon or get some bbq sauce on my shirt(which I did) plus as a new adoption to this healthy active way of life a sista was playing like a big ole kid out there. i was tossing the football trying to rally up some adults to play kickball(some obliged others kept putting it off so that was a bust), and playing volleyball (boooo kickball would've been lots more fun). It was great because there were alot of growups out there playing with the kids like kids LOL. I guess I never noticed it before cause I'd usually be running up to the table going for my second plate or third plate of helpings or drinking my 5th mountain dew or Pepsi for the day LOL. I love being active I was sweaty as pig and prolly funky as one too but so what so was everybody else. It was like 90 something degrees outside with smodlering heat (atleast it felt like it lol) and to be completely honest gas costs to much for me to be turning my air on when we could just get a nice breeze flowing into the car. I kept thinking like this: Okay going into air conditioning then turnging around and coming back outside into the heat just makes coping with the heat so much worse!!! It's better to just stay in the element get used to it and enjoy it while it lasts. I remember thinking about my days as a child. No matter what the temperature I could go outside and play all day with the exception of coming in the house to pee or get some water and the weather NEVER bothered me one bit. But as I became an adult and got a little lazy and fell in love with air conditioning and heat I just couldn't go outside because it was just too hot or too cold to be out in that mess. NOW i see going out and staying in the element and having fun regardless makes it all worthwhile. And yes I was outside rocking my jeans like a pro and my big old tee shirt. I wore the jeans in 90 degree weather because whenever I wear shorts I get bit up like I'm the new pricey steak on the menu for moskitoes LOL. But however. I had an awesome time!!! We joked we played we had a really good time and I think all enjoyed themselves. I was more proud of myself for staying active and not going back up to the table for seconds and thirds more than anything else. Because then I'd have come home crying because I ate too much and now I have to work all this food off LOL. Now that I've figured this active during picnic thing out I wish I could've put it into practice earlier this summer and then maybe I wouldn't be at this stupid plateau that I'm in right now, but that's another blog.

Oh OH!!! And guess what? There was a table full of cake, cinnamon rolls, cookies, brownies, and all kinds of sweets and ya girl didn't eat one bit!!! HA HA! I can resist temptation! Instead I went and grabbed a watermelon that for some odd reason everyone seemed to ignored and I cut a slice of that ate it and was on my way until i became the "please cut me a piece of watermelon" lady LOL. Yeah I got suckered into that one. And so as not to be called to do anything else as far as cutting watermelons or getting somebody a plate I resorted to playing LOL. Okay well that was my exciting blog for the weekend. Good times and great laughter. oh yeah and here's a pic of the outfit I had on for the picnic. pants size 18 woohoo!

I ran my first 5K!!!!

This past Saturday August 6, 2005 I ran my first actual 5K Yayyy me!!!! Thank you Jesus. I remember when I first started running I never thought that within a year I'd be able to run a 5k which is the equivalent of 3.1 miles. Shoot it was an accomplishment to make it to 1 mile yall should've seen me when I made it to one mile. I was jumping around and just praising the Lord. I know people thought that I looked crazy or probably was crazy but I didn't care, I had never been able to run that far. Even in highschool in track and field I could never do a complete 4 laps without having side stitches and feeling like passing out so when I made that milestone I was on cloud 9!
Now I've completed a 5k and you know what I'm going to continue to run 5K races. I had a really great time, the runners were so nice it was scary I mean at the mile markers there were actually people on the sideline encouraging us and tell us to keep going. There was a set of runners then there was a set of walkers. At the start of the race I was at the front of the runners and when the gun went off we began running and everyone began passing me up LOL. So i made a mental note *next time start somewhere in the Back of the line so as to refrain from embarassment* HAHA. but it was no big deal because I wasn't there to win the race I was there to see if I could do it. And believe me honey I was passed up by everyone LOL. I was the last runner to cross the finish line in 41:20 minutes, and actually got passed up by some speed walkers LOL, but I was still on cloud 9! it began pouring down raining and believe me honey I got drenched!!! So much so that I had to take off my glasses and put them in my pocket LOL But I kept going. And not one time did I stop running and start walking like some of the other women were doing, I ran the whole thing. I was so proud of myself that I was able to do it.

There was one thing that I was wondering about though, When we were almost finished and had about 2 meters to run My back began to tighten up a little and there was pressure in my upper back, I wonder what that was all about maybe I was working some musles and had a little tension? I dunno? Anyways it was a great! We got poured down on but it was still great My kids ran a lil bug kids run and got to participate in alot of fun activities. unfortunately hubby had to work so he wasn't able to make it but he was very proud of me. I give all glory honor and credit to God. And I thank God for putting the words in my head: The race is not given to the swift, neither the battle to the strong, but to him that endureth to the end. The whole time I ran that's all I though I'm enduring I'm doing it and That's what matters. Maybe next year my speed will be alot faster, when I lose some more weight. But until then I will continue to endure. Thank you Jesus!!!!

Septemeber 28th 2004 I made a decision to lose weight and be healthy with God's help and so far I've lost 55 lbs, I also decided to give this running thing a try cause it seemed that every runner I saw out on the road were fairly petite and small and I figured that must be the best way to lose weight. Plus that fact that I used to be a sprinter and shot put and discus champ in school I figured hey hopefully I can do this. I started running at 305lbs and I would run 30 seconds and walk 3 minutes then run again and to me those 30 seconds would just about kill me I'd be spitting up phlegm every 2-3 minutes or so. Then the more I ran the longer it was like my body was getting used to the running and it got a little easier. There was no more spitting, and my breathing began evening out. Then I went to a running store to buy some runners and I recieved tips from a rep in a running store that helped me out 60% in my endurance and my form when running. I slowed down with the running in the winter months because I was terrified to go outside and run on slippery surfaces and so I went to the gym and just walked. Then when the spring whether began to break in March-April I got back into the swing of things as far as running outside and such and began gaining endurance and here I am in August able to run a 3.1 mile race. Praise GOd!! okay well until I report next time be blessed!