Spiritual Things

After going through and checking out some other weightloss sites and just doing a basic review of my own regimen and where I am spiritually I had to take a sit down and just evaluate myself. I have been struggling lately spiritually because I was so focused on the weightloss. Therefore I am taking a timeout and getting my relationship together with the Lord and reconciling to where I was before this FLESH took over. I was getting up 6 o'clock in the morning and getting a brisk wonderful run in and not praying and interceding for others as the Lord prompted me to do.

When I get off of work I never get a chance to sit down because My new babysitter lives 45 minutes away from my job so by the time i get home it's time to go to our churches evening services in which I cannot miss them because I am on the praise and worship team and so I open up the services with my sisters and I am a bible study teacher so missing is not an option. Some nights I wouldn't even see the comfort of my own home until 9:30pm and I get off of work at 5. Well if I don't come home until 9:30pm then that means I don't eat until 10 o'clock and the kids have to eat so do my husband. This is not even taking into account that my daughter is in Cheerleading and my son just finished up teeball(Thank you Jesus). So even in between home and church I'm dropping the kids off at practice and blah blah blah. Needless to say the only time I have to workout is in the Mornings before my day starts. Well I'm right now in a place where i feel as if I have no control and i know that God comes first and i tithe my time everymorning to him but I have been neglecting him lately. I do get in prayer time but my early morning worship is where I need to be back at. The Lord has given me some instruction as to where I need to be right now so I am basically sitting and listening to whatever it is that he wants me to do. I don't want to neglect my family and home for the sake of church programs but I receive my strength and healing and my God time in the fellowship of the saints and afterall The Lord gave the command, forsake ye not to assemble yourselves. It's all for the upbuilding of the kingdom of God and the edification of the Body of Christ. So as of right now I will blog but maybe not as much....well it's not like anyone responds anyways LOL.

So in short I am taking time out for a sabbatical to spend with my Lord and sit in the secret place and obtain guidance and direction under the shadow of the almighty. I'll be back to report soon but for now I am keeping my mind on the spiritual things.

Victory over the scale

I can fit a size 18 in pants bottoms. OKay let me set the scene lol:I went to Ashley Stewarts to grab a pair of jeans or capris because I've been wearing the same 1 pair of jeans for the last 2 years LOL I know don't laugh at me guys. But anyways, I went to grab a pair of jeans mind you TOM has arrived and I grabbed a size 20 although I thought it would be too tight for me since last week I gained 5 lbs although I have upped my workout schedule and added weights. Anyways I grabbed a size 20 and a size 18 and thought maybe I'll make the 18's some goal capris well it turns out the 20's were looking a little frumpy on me and also a little loose. Well I put on the 18's and they were a perfect fit!!!!! wooohoooo I also noticed another thing My BUTT IS COMING BACK Praise the LORD!!!! My hubby noticed it before but this was my first time noticing this . I also noticed in the dreaded dressing room mirror that I have a gazillion stretch marks which was a bit disturbing until I thought about......the stretch marks that I see are formerly stretched out marks which means I am shrinking HAHA!! It wasn't so bad looking at my fat in the mirror this time either because I can see it coming down. I'm telling yall I could start praising God right now!Hallelujah, Thank you Jesus for discipline!!!

I did this morning's run in about 26 minutes for a 2.0 miler. I have some steep hills in this route that i run so I am definitely getting a good workout in. I want to do intervals but don't know how as I run by myself and don't know who to interval train against LOL. Anyways yayy for the victory.

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Yesterday I called off of work because my son had terrible bite marks all over his skin that he'd scratched holes through. I have no idea what is biting him because he is in the house before it even looks to be dark outside so It's not mosquitoes. I think he is getting bit while sleeping in his bed because for the past 2 nights he's been getting up and sleeping in our bed. I took the kids to the emergency room at the hospital and noticed that they have a scale so i decide to hop on it and bright as day the screen reads 257.2. man what am I doing wrong? I run 2 miles every morning I workout on my lunch sometimes and I try to plan my meals and eat right. All last week I ate extremely clean and at first the scale registered a 2 lb loss but as soon as I stepped on it again it read 255.0 I just don't get this. It's very frustrating but I'm not quitting. The thing that really gets me is even when I overeat it's with healthy stuff!! Not trash but veggies and fruit and wheatables!!! AAARRGHHHH. I am not getting on the scale again for a long time because it just messes me up when there is no loss. I know that the last time I did this was in January. I just stopped losing weight it was like at a standstill then after about 2 months there was a BIG loss of about 20 lbs. Hey maybe that's what's going on I dunno? But whatever the problem I need help!!! I don't wanna gain all that weight back!I kept thinking maybe it's muscle but I know that muscle melts fat right? Welll why ain't no fat melting off of me? I think I want to make an appointment with a doctor or a weight trainer to have my body fat measured to see how much lean muscle I contain.

Plateaurama

Okay so I jump on the scale saturday and it reads 253.6 Woohoo right? I'm happy not as happy as if I'da gotten back down to 252.8 which was the orginal weight before the dreaded memorial day week. And yes i said week and not day because I completely self sabotaged all week long. Foe what reason I have no Idea. I was not stress, depressed, or possessed so why was I eating like a maniac? hmmm I'll have to research that one. Anyways I get on the scale and it says 253.6 then I get back on the scale a little later in the day to make sure that I'm not tripping and guess what it reads? 255.0!!!! WHAT why is that! Then I say to myself, "okay you are not going to obsess over the scale so I get the tape measure and for some odd reason my measurements are not going down but are going up? What gives. I mean the numbers didn't drastically go up they only went up like about an 1/8 of an inch but man I have been working my butt off and I just don't understand this. So I leave the scale alone and I continue to do my exercising and every now and then I look into the mirror and my face and shoulders look as if their shrinking so I am happy. Today I decided to up my mileage from 1.6 miles to 2.0 miles a day totaling 10 miles in a 5 day week. i ran today and did pretty good I ran the 2 miles in 25:38 so that's about a 12 minute mile. Hopefully this will shock my body into dropping some fat and poundage and gaining some lean muscle. If this Saturday i happen to weigh in and am still at 255.0 I am making a doctors appointment. I have hypothyroidism so I wonder if that is what's stalling my progress? Whatever the case may be this weight is coming off, the healthy way ofcourse but I am getting thoroughly upset about this. My scale will not throw me off track, I am stronger then I have ever been right now so I will look at that as a serious accomplishment. I used to not be able to run more than 100 meters without a sid stitch and now I'm running MILES okay??? That is a major accomplishment!! I have another goal dress to work my way into and I;m taking this one day at a time so pray for me yall I can't take doing all this working out and seeing no results besides feeling stronger. I am going to stay consistent though. My hubby doesn't get a chance to workout lately but he eats the same as always, check this out he goes to workout for one day and loses weight! What gives. Well today will be a better day if I have anything to say about it!

I did 3 miles today!!!

WOOHOO GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT!!! Thank you Jesus! I just hit a milestone this morning guys I did 3 whole miles. I ran 2 miles straight out on a neighborhood loop and I walk/jogged the 3rd mile and I did it all in 39:10 minutes. First mile was ran in 12:40 and the second mile was ran in 11:30 and the 3rd mile I Walk/jogged in about 16 minutes. It would've been faster had I ran that whole 3rd mile but I want to pace myself in running I don't want to burn out too fast on this. I am on top of the world today guys I feel great!! I had a loss as well in my weight so that's always a plus but I'm more happy that i was able to push myself to run that far. My weght as of today is 253.6 which is down 2 lbs from last week. But anyhoo, I remember looking at people running when i would go walking and I'd say that's gonna be me one day. As soon as I lose this weight I'm gonna be running and chatting with my running buddies, but now I CAN run and I do run, I didn't have to wait until I lost weigt I am doing it now. unfortunately I don't have anyone to run with but I may check out a few running spots in the future and meet and greet one day I dunno but anyhoo hooray for me and thanks you guys so much for your encouragement! Oh yes and another thing I never wrote about in here although I don't know why is my new george formean grill. It is the BOMB I could kiss that bald headed boxer if I wasn't married because he patented the perfect invention! Go George Foreman! woohoo I'm on top of the world!

Much Better

Today is much better. I got up this morning and took a walk instead of a run in which the walk took longer with the same distance than the run did so I guess I am actually gaining speed in my runs LOL. Walking is soooo much harder than jogging. My calves were actually a little sore at the end of the workout. But I'm cool. I have it set what foods to eat and how to go about spacing them out. Over the past week I broke alot of my golden rules and that is how I know that the poundage came back on. I went out to eat 3 times last week. I ate when I was bored instead of finding something constructive to do. I ate late at night instead of sticking to my regimen of nothing after nine. I went to sleep alot later than usual which would cause me not to wanna get up and run let alone pray in the morning. I've been drinking all kinds of pop and juice instead of water and tea, and my pinching while cooking was ridiculous! I even tried closet eating last week, as if it would fool myself!!! How stupid :doh: I am gaging my weightloss efforts against no one but myself, so there really was no need to closet eat or sabotage. I have taken the handles gotten deeper in my bible study and I feel the wheels turning back towards the right things. I have also figured out that drinking a ton of water decreases your appetite and that's how I stop from overeating (duh, right?) I am in control today and I plan on staying this way With the help of the LORD. Thank you Jesus!

here to report

Over the weekend I weighed in and I already knew that there was going to be a gain. There was no denying it. My eating was out of control and I wasn't even exercising. I got on the scale and it read 255.0!!! Okay be calm, breathe evenly.....that's what I tell myself and I say okay Your going to stay disciplined. Only eat when your hungry and stop when your full. This is what I tell myself. But I just can't keep it together. I will take control of this eating demon, I will bind up the strong man of my flesh in Jesus name!!! I went running this morning but by the time I got back in the house I was so pooped from my run I sat down in front of the fan and almost went to sleep LOL. I went to workout on my lunch but I feel like my working out is useless if I keep feeding myself like a pig or a starving ethiopian. I've been pinching off of food while cooking and snacking ALL day LONG I just don't understand why I'm doing this but it's time to go into bible study and get some answers from my Daddy Abba. I need help in this thing. I'm doing so well I can't sabotage myself I refuse to. I will stay in this, I will be a testimony through this test. I will rededicate my mind, body, and soul to becoming the healthiest me that I can be!!! Lord help me to control my portion distortion and eating only when hungry and stopping when satisfied. Well Off to bed I Go. I'll see ya later!

Yayy for me I did it.

Just an update from yesterday. I went on my lunch and got my workout in and felt much better the rest of the day.I'm back in the race and I'm not giving up and I still realize that the hardest thing about working out or running is starting. Starting is the hardest thing to do. Once you get started and keep at it for 1 full minute/ 60 seconds your hooked and you don't wanna stop. I guess I was agonizing over it when all I really needed to do was to be like Nike and Just do it. Well i did it and I feel much better.
I finally got up and took a wonderful run. My times are getting faster and faster. My last recorded run was 1.6 miles in 21:39 today it is down to 20:52. Woohoo I am shaving my time off by second. And also I have to walk up 3 flights of stairs to get to my apartment and I did that after running no sweat, so this is just awesome. I'm just waiting for the Rocky song to play so I can jump around with my hands up in the air LOL.

UUUGGGHHH what is wrong with me?

I'm doing alright over this way I think LOL. I am sooooo tired today I was so sluggish this morning it was hard to pray, walk, get the kids together this morning, everythang LOL. I took a cold rag to my face, mouthwash and everything. I took my vitamins this morning and everything but I just cannot get into the swing of things. I broke down this morning and have a cappucino in front of me. I haven't drunk coffee, or cappucino or hot chocolate since January!! And I was a coffeeaholic LOL. I had to cut it out cause of acid reflux. I pray this doesn't get addictive, No it won't get addictive I have control over this. I'm just wondering why I can't shake this tiredness that I have. I was like this yesterday too. This morning I had my running attire set out in front of me but I was so sleepy I couldn't even rise to get it. I hate this stupid dangon flesh. While it was weak my spirit should've been willing my big lazy butt to get up off of the couch!!! Ugghh I am so sick with myself I haven't ran in like 4 days. And I know when I finally get up the nerve to do it it's gonna be twice as hard. I hate this time of month my hormones are all out of wack my eating habits have been a mess as well and I'm not talking about pigging out on sweets either, I've just been eating to be eating. I am so disgusted with my undisciplined behavior these past couple of days. But I'm going to get it together. With the Holy Ghost as my witness, I will get this togeva!!! Other than that I'm doing well? I'm in need of some inspiration so I'm heading off to get some breakfast in the book of psalms. David I need your help brotha!